Dating Tips From A 21th Century Fox

Hi Loves,

Changing times and the rules of Dating in the 21st Century is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  I see so many mixed reviews about what is right and acceptable in dating and what is not.  What to wear, how to style your hair, who pays the bill, is a goodnight kiss acceptable.   I find it a bit shocking that there is such an array of emotions on this subject.  People become quite heated when it comes to their emotions. Often,  when I'm talking with other women I see a "dear in the headlights" look when discussing men.  Other women seem a bit bitter and negative.  Then there are the women that go straight for the gold mine and presume that men will be men so if you can't beat em, join em.  This in mind I've decided to set the record straight for what I believe works the best in landing the man of your dreams and keeping him for good.

Now, I am not married.  I'm very single and enjoying every minute of it.  However, I have been blessed to have been engaged in the most beautiful relationships of the highest stature.  I've dated some very impressively succesful men I could write books about.  We are all friends to this day. All good things come to an end so I'm not sad or bitter at all.  I feel fortunate to have had these wonderful opportunities in my life.  And I believe that God is watching over me and when it is the right time it will happen again.  I've traveled to some of the most beautiful countries and have a closet filled with Cartier, Louis Vuitton and Gucci.   And while all those things are great, they mean absolutely nothing if you aren't crazy in love with your man.  I was one of the lucky women to have been very much in love and so I feel that it's ok to tell my story.  So here are my top 8 dating tips! Do them all!

1.  Invest in yourself.  Read my blog I am constantly driving this idea home.  There is a book called, If you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat.  Ladies, Go to the gym, get your hair done, take some strip tease classes.   Whatever you have to do to gain confidence.  You should be taking vitamins and loving yourself.  Men are attracted to interesting women.  Women who are busy being fabulous. If your guy left you it's not the end of the world.  He will fall over in his easy chair when he logs on to facebook and see's the "new you." STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU CANT DO THESE THINGS.  MAKE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN PUT YOURSELF FIRST.

2.  Ladies, the goal of dating is marriage.  I've sat at so many countless dinner tables listening to some slipshot talk about how many cars and boats he has just to get laid. Boring.  I wish these guys knew how they sounded.  Seriously guys, unless you're offering the ladies cars or boats, put a sock in it.  Women want to hear how beautiful they are.  Not what you have.  Ladies, don't fall for the trap. You're not looking for a show off.  You're looking for a "real" man.  Most of the guys I have dated are very quiet about their lifestyle.  Find a man that cherishes you.  Notice I didn't say like.  Love yourself enough to walk away from anything that makes you feel less than.  Look for qualities that you can live with for the rest of your life like how will he give my children a beautiful life and how will he change my life for the better.

cherish:

a : to hold dear : feel or show affection for <cherished her friends>

b : to keep or cultivate with care and affection : nurture<cherishes his marriage>

 to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely<still cherishes that memory>

3.  Be social and go out.  That is the best way to meet eligible bachelors.  I met most of my exes in nightclubs and they turned out to be very professional business types.  Lay out at the pools, have dinner with your girlfriends, go for ice cream.  Single men are everywhere!

4.  Have Confidence and be patient.  Remember, Rome wasnt built in a day...you will meet mister right when its your time to.  I'll never forget when my ex broke up with me in New York City.  I got back on a plain and cried the entire way to Los Angeles.  I was so sad.  I was bawling to my girl friend and said how am I going to move on.  She looked me in the eye and said, you know Carley, he loved you and treated you like a princess.  But he didn't invent that.  He was just pre-game for what your life is going to be like.  And you know the next guy I met 6 months later was crazy about me and was twice as fabulous.  Who knew that would happen.

5.  When is it ok to have sex?  You know I don't have a tight rule.  Times have changed.  My mother has been with my father for 42 years.  She told me the other day that relationships aren't working the way they used to.  If you feel passionate about a man and you are having an amazing time with him I would hate to be the one to tell you to not go all the way.  He can still pursue you after.  I believe it is a myth that having sex on the first night is a turn off.  Live, love, laugh and have fun.

6.  Do not chase any man.  Men love a good chase.  Even if you're crawling the walls to see him suck it up and stick to your guns.  My golden role is that the better the chase the better relationship.  Some women drive me nuts with this.  They call and nag and annoy the hell out of the guy and wonder why he isn't trying anymore.  Put up a sexy chase!

7.  Be your own Person.  Don't lose yourself in your man.  You want to be attractive and interesting and have your own endeavors you are pursuing.  Living vicariously through any man will bore them.

8.  Don't put up with Cheaters and Liars.  A few years back I was going through a breakup and I was heart broken.  I was bartending at the time and had to work this night.  So I came in with my tissues trying to hold back the tears.  A really wonderful woman was sitting at the bar like an angel watching over me.  She gave me the very best advice that night and I never forgot it.  She said, Carley you aren't dating you are "dated."  I loved that and it stuck with me.  If you think about Marilyn Monroe she strikes me as a woman that was "dated"  too.  So if your guy is cheating and lieing and you feel it in your heart as hard as it is you have to walk away.  Who knows, maybe he will change.  Believe that it's possible.   For the time being you have to do what's best for you.  Not him.  And move on.